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You'll Never Meet Someone - 5 Warning Signs That You Should Know

Text and Image Copyright Notice. Published under copyright by Loveawake România. © Copyright 2010-2020. All rights reserved.

Do you worry that you will never meet someone? Have you tried to date, but nothing ever works out? There are warning signs that indicate you could continue to have problems. Do you know what they are?

WARNING SIGN #1 Disastrous Dates

The first warning sign that you won’t meet someone is when you have a date that you think is a disaster and you focus on the “failure” of it. You may even keep trying to date, but each person seems worse than the last one. You consider this a sure sign that you will be alone the rest of your life, that you are not attractive enough to get the one you want, and, most of all, the one you want doesn’t even exist!

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Shift your thinking from failure to success. You haven’t “lost” anything except some expectations. Look for what you learned. You have gained insight, clarity, and knowledge. You can use these lessons on the path to your True Love. Your single life is not a contest—it’s an adventure. Stop looking at it like it is one impossible event after another. As long as you think of it as a win-lose, you will not feel successful or brave enough to try.

WARNING SIGN #2: Interpreting Every Date As A Rejection

WHAT TO DO: It takes a victim and a victimizer, carefully orchestrating their misery, to be successful in creating the game of rejection. If you don’t play the game, you can’t be rejected. The most that rejection can be, objectively, is someone seeing and sharing that you are not compatible. Say, “Thank you,” let go and move on. How do you keep your dance card full so that one less name on it will barely be missed? Get out often, get out more, and get out and be friendly.

WARNING SIGN #3: Jealousy Consumes You When Someone Else Falls In Love

WHAT TO DO: When you feel jealous of anyone for ANYTHING, look to see what you have not done for you. We feel jealous when we feel deprived, helpless, or like we are not enough. If you are jealous of another person’s success in meeting someone wonderful, ask yourself:

· What have I done lately to meet someone? Do I get out whenever possible, tell lots of people I would like to meet someone, and stay friendly, reaching out in most situations? Be honest. How much have you really done?

· What can I do to feel better about myself? Need a counselor, exercise program, or financial adviser?

· What can I do today to empower myself? Have I de-cluttered recently, or have I eliminated what I have been putting up with?

WARNING SIGN #4: Looking For Someone Else To Make You Happy

WHAT TO DO: Look to see where you can make yourself happy. Singles who are tired of being lonely usually don’t want to hear this. If you are single, you may think all your fears will melt and your problems will be handled when The Perfect One enters your life. When you find The One, and continue not to be happy, you may think it is the other person’s fault. True—the other person may be a jerk or a jerkette—but your unhappiness started with you. Pull your life together, do things that make you proud, and then find someone like you.

WARNING SIGN #5: Projection Onto The Other Person

WHAT TO DO: This is an extremely common mistake single’s make. Many people living alone want to meet someone so much, that when they finally get a date, they read all kinds of values, attitudes, and character traits into the person that just aren’t there. Eventually, they wind up being angry because he or she didn’t live up to the expectations.

These are the five warning signs that can become your new guide to find romance. Give it a try. You deserve to find your love.

 

Why All The Sex After a Guy Goes Thru a Breakup?

Now, when a reader decides to cross-reference between posts, well, I know she’s been reading, cataloging, and she might just have multicolored post-its as a part of her process. And that speaks to me.

However, in my post at Loveawake dating site blog on guys getting dumped and feeling like absolute hell. Ange didn’t get the part of the answer she needed. Why is it that when a guy gets dumped or breaks up, he tries to stick that thing anyplace it’ll go? Why all the sex? What is he trying to do? I have some ideas. About this, I’m saying. Of course I have just “some ideas.” Everybody has those. I have an idea about how cashiers should give you back your change first, and THEN the bills, and NOT put the change on TOP of the bills where you then have to shuffle it around to get to the…sigh…oh, what’s the use? Let’s just get on with the Manslations, shall we?

Hi Jeff,

Your site continues to be excellent, and your tips, while reduced in quantity, are still great in quality.

My question is why, after a break-up, guys sometimes have sex with anything within a 100-mile radius.

You have touched on this briefly (https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/03/opening-ourselves-up-for-heartbreakagain/ ), and explained that just because a guy is out doing anyone he can, it doesn’t necessarily mean that his previous relationship meant nothing.

So… what DOES it mean?  What is a guy trying to accomplish by such prolific pounding?  (In my current situation, the guy is the dumpee – so it shouldn’t really matter to me what he’s getting up to, but it is kind of like…  ”Hmm.

Maybe he’s upset and trying to distract/validate himself, or maybe I dodged something that was simply a heat-seeking missile.”)

Cheers!
Ange

Dear Ange,

Ok, full disclosure: Much to my eternal shame, I’m not much of an “everything that moves” kind of Kazan guy. I was just never that great at the whole womanizing thing. I would always end up feeling guilty and weird and lonely. And for this, I’m a little embarrassed. I mean…it’s just not very James Bond, is it? (Heh. As if but ONLY for that I’d be a dead ringer for him, right?)

Now, that said, the post-breakup humpfest is a well-known effect. What is it? Couple-a things, I think.

INDULGENCE MAKES THE HEART SHUT THE HELL UP

When you’re stressed, depressed, freaked out, or whatever other kind of weirdness you’ve got going, why do you end up eating a giant thing of ice cream? Or not eating at all? Or exercising a whole lot or a whole little? Or sleeping a lot? You’re trying to overwhelm your senses so you can’t really pay attention to what’s really going on. And you do whatever you’re good at. I’m sure that heartbroken tapdancers tap their brains out when they get dumped. I’m sure that garbage-collecting apartment superintendents collect WAY more garbage to store in their apartment on the ground floor of my building. I’m sure of it.

If sex is available when you’re feeling like 10 pounds of dung in a 5 pound dung bag, it’s a great way to inundate your senses with drama and wildness for a little while.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A WIN

And sex is definitely a win. A conquest. Anything that makes you feel a little bit less like a LOSER is great. When you’ve just been dumped, sex has the added benefit of giving you the exact thing that you just were a loser at — keeping a woman’s attention.

FA SHOW

Some guys need to show that they’re fine. This would only really make sense if it was in public in an area where he’s known. Or where at least YOU can see him. “See?! I’m doin’ GREAT! I’m just lovin’ life over here! Hello?” Otherwise, why go through all the effort. Oh yeah…

SEX IS FUN

As I said, I’m not great at the one-night-stand thing. But there’s no denying that the actual sex part sure is fun. And if you’re feeling a little low, why not feel better whilst naked? No reason, says I. No reason at all.

Anyway, Ange, those are just a few of the reasons. I think it’s likely a combo of them all. But it sure ain’t because he doesn’t (or didn’t) care. Likely just the opposite.

What do YOU think it means when a guy is boning all the world after a breakup?